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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27655829">Spiraling Through Life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarblossom/pseuds/sugarblossom'>sugarblossom</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dialogue Heavy, Fluff, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Probably ooc but idc, Probably takes place right after "all for the love of meloetta"</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:16:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,381</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27655829</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarblossom/pseuds/sugarblossom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Cynthia gets free time, she likes to relax at her villa and do a bit of housekeeping, from making her bed to organizing the bathroom supplies to talking to Ash to cooking.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Meloetta &amp; Satoshi | Ash Ketchum, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum &amp; Satoshi no Pikachu | Ash Ketchum's Pikachu, Satoshi | Ash Ketchum &amp; Shirona | Cynthia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Spiraling Through Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW: mention of food</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Circling above, a swarm of Wingulls were drenched in the inky darkness. The ocean peaked and sunk, swirling in eddies as a breeze rolled by. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Snoring greeted Ash as he stared up at the ceiling. He peeked over. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His friends didn’t pay him any attention. Pikachu and Meloetta were huddled next to him, also still dozed off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Nudging Pikachu and Meloetta off, Ash tip-toed across the room. Yawning, he went to the bathroom, brushing his teeth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash glanced up at the bathroom mirror for a brief second before rubbing his eyes, walking off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A Wingull screeched overhead, leaving trails of spiraled fog behind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash drooped his arms over the balcony railings, taking in the purple darkness soaking through his soul.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He rubbed his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wasn’t expecting you to be up yet.” Ash jolted, forcing himself to be still as Cynthia walked up to him, twirling a hair brush. “Did you get a good night’s sleep?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash shrugged, grinning. “Yep! Thanks for asking!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia copied Ash’s posture, staring out over the landscape. “You’re awfully chipper this early morning.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah! Nothing’s really bothering me, of course!” Ash waved a hand, watching the leaves rustle in the wind like sails. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Resting her arms on the railing, Cynthia tilted her head. “If something’s bothering you, you’re free to tell me. You’re under my roof after all,” she half-joked, twirling her hair brush. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s very kind of you. Of course you’d be,” Ash complimented, fiddling with a nearby vase of flowers, its petals curled up like pinwheels. He shied away when Cynthia put her hairbrush down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You deserve it. After all, it was you who saved-” Cynthia complimented back, narrowing her eyes when Ash winced, gripping the baloney railing. “Ash?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>An easy smile spread over Ash’s face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh don’t worry ‘bout me, it’s just kind of a blah day today.” Ash hunched, like loosening a taut rubber band. “I try to focus on the present, you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...So I’m guessing asking you about the Junior Cup isn’t gonna help either?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both trailed a leaf as it danced through the air. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t get me wrong, I love battling and my friends, but…” Ash trailed off. Picking up a single-use pen, he asked, “Have you met Trip yet?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I heard he’s also competing, yes.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash shifted the pen between his hands, humming in affirmation. “I won’t get into detail, but he really doesn’t like me. Like, frankly, that’s fine, but he never got to know people like me.” Cynthia glanced at Ash as he waved the pen like a wand. “Maybe he’ll change, maybe he won’t. I’ve met both kinds of people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve done a lot on your journey. It must be depressing sometimes, even with your optimism,” Cynthia murmured, glancing at her nails. “Hm, if you dislike him, I wonder how much Lance would.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chuckling, Ash glanced up towards the stormy sky. “I do hope Trip changes. Maybe I’m too naive again, but I truly wish him the best, no matter how little he thinks of me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...You’re a good person.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash huffed out a laugh, turning to face Cynthia. “So how can I help you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah. You’ve already helped me lots, it’s only natural I return the favor!” Ash shrugged, flicking his pen up and down. “I mean, I wouldn't know </span>
  <em>
    <span>how</span>
  </em>
  <span> I can help, but…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia tapped a cheek. “How about you tell me how Unova has been?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Great! Yes, great! I met a lot of new friends! I’ve met a lot of pokemon as well!” Ash pouted. “I didn’t get to bond with them as much as other regions though.” He grinned, randomly gesturing with his pen. “Anyways, Unova’s a great region! Its unique food, culture, language, I love it all!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You say that about every region,” Cynthia said, a twinkle in her eyes. Ash sported a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his hair. “Come to think of it, Meloetta and Azelf-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No I don’t want to hear it!” Ash cut in, nearly sending his pen skidding off the balcony. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash and Cynthia stared at each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While twirling a lock of hair, Cynthia said, “I’m really sorry. I know it’s a sensitive topic, that was my fault.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash ran his thumb across his other nails, murmuring, “No, I understand. I’m the one who should be apologizing.” He blankly smiled. “What I’ve gone through doesn’t excuse my behavior. Is there anything I could do to make it up to you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No no, I was the one who brought it up, you don’t have to do that. Honestly.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the silence dragged on, Ash absentmindedly picked at the skin around his nails. “So…” He carefully grinned. “How are you doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia put a hand up. “I’m fine, but how are </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> doing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash tilted his head, eyes wide. “Why… do you ask?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Watching Ash nearly scratch his skin open, Cynthia winced. “Because you’re not doing alright. Have you talked about what you’ve gone through with </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rocking back and forth, Ash thoughtfully hummed. “Yeah! I talk to Pikachu about everything!” At Cynthia’s stern stare, Ash cracked his fingers and knuckles. “Well… I talked with Brock about… one… event in Unova.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you admit Unova’s been hard on you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia blinked when Ash laughed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Which region hasn’t?” Ash chirped, kneeling to pick up his pen and bouncing up just as quickly. Cynthia winced. “Yeah, even though Dawn was with me through Sinnoh, she doesn’t know everything!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...I don’t know everything either, but I have heard stories from the others.” Ash froze when Cynthia met his eyes. “We all care for you, Ash.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash tapped the pen against his palm before facing the forest view. “Don’t feel compelled to. I take care of others when I can’t take care of myself.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The trees towered like umbrellas against the gloomy clouds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia put her hands together, furrowing her eyebrows. “When you put it that way, that’s… concerning.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shrugging, Ash said, “Why, you have experience? Anyways, I don’t need the pity.” Cynthia stared as Ash twirled his pen so fluidly he didn’t have an ounce of worry it’ll fall over the balcony.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m not pitying you, I care for you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t,” Ash chirped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...I do care for you. I promise it’s not forced or anything like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh I know. But I don’t believe it. You know that too, don’t you? Why do you bother?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The sound of rustling leaves sounded like rice falling through a rainstick. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because you deserve it. Because you deserve more credit. Because you deserve to know the reality of things, no matter how much you don’t believe in it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ironically!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia watched as Ash closed his glazed-over eyes due to his huge grin. “What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know~” Ash leaned way too past the railings for Cynthia’s liking as he rambled, “I lost track of who I am a long time ago! I don’t even remember when that happened! But that doesn’t matter, considering the world’s probably gonna end anytime now! Going to hell is better than what I’m going through, I know from personal experience! Oh that reminds me! I would be </span>
  <em>
    <span>so</span>
  </em>
  <span> impressed if Unova is </span>
  <em>
    <span>worse</span>
  </em>
  <span> than Sinnoh, no offense, but it’s really hard to do that considering I helped to stop Arceus and got seriously triggered really badly during the league!” Tapping his pen against his cheek, Ash bleakly laughed. “Then again I totally froze up because of Zekrom during my first battle with Trip! But don’t worry, I still care for legendaries like Meloetta and don’t want whatever’s to come to happen to them! Then again, I can’t even remember when I first- Why am I even joking about this, what is wrong with me- And you’re always so busy and I’m just wasting your time-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes I-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash froze when seeing Cynthia’s forced blank face. He took a deep breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia softened. “Ash-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry for oversharing.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the silence rolled over like the rumbling clouds, Ash chewed on his pen cap, shifting back and forth. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna fight Arceus for you,” Cynthia declared. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, don’t bother!” Ash tilted his head, grinning as he tossed his pen up and down. “Besides, Arceus being mad isn’t something you want to see.” Cynthia stayed silent. “No offense. Sorry. Sorry sorry, is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia put a hand over her mouth, glancing off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash’s breath wavered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, or!” Ash said, grin poked up, “I could just shut up about myself. What were we even talking about?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Only the sound of Ash tapping his pen against the railing answered him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia’s stormy eyes glanced everywhere but Ash as she tried to figure out what to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At the beat of the pen, little footsteps sounded closer to them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey buddy,” Ash murmured, turning and squatting. Pikachu padded over, ears perking up. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Pikachu curled around Ash’s neck, Meloetta floated over, yawning and rubbing their eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash chuckled as Meloetta twirled, standing up to meet them. “Hey Meloetta. Did you guys sleep well?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meloetta sing-songed while Pikachu raised a paw in agreement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Stifling a laugh when Pikachu patted his cheek, Ash smiled at Cynthia. “Are you hungry? I sure am!” He set his pen down on the table, waving. “I’m gonna go brush my teeth. Meet you downstairs!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Turning, Ash bit the inside of his cheek hard enough to feel the ache. Pikachu screeched, poking Ash’s other cheek. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash crossed his arms before uncrossing them. “It’s not because of Lucario this time, it’s ok.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chirping, Meloetta drifted around them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While staring off into the distance, Ash patted his shoulder. Meloetta plopped down where Ash indicated, waving to Cynthia. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu still hissed at Ash. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia reached a hand towards them. “Ash, are you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash jolted, instinctively digging his nails into his arms. “I’m ok! I’m good! I’m just great!” Forcing a blink, Ash stared back at the pen he set down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You have every right to cry-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know. But I won’t. Not on things like these.” Ash snickered, a trembling hand itching up to his hair before he forced it back down to his side. Pikachu clung to Ash’s hand, cheeks sparking in worry. “I can’t. Ironically. Honest!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meloetta put a hand against their cheek, cooing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash wordlessly hummed to Meloetta, absentmindedly tapping his foot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Here,” Cynthia started, handing Ash his pen. “Stay with me. I’ll get you something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu stared at Cynthia, squeaking to Ash as he twirled his pen around his fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The trees shivered, waving them goodbye. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash nodded, silently following Cynthia down the spiral staircase and running a finger against the brick crevices in the wall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia gestured towards the couch, and Ash inched over to the seat. Meloetta zipped around the couch, but Pikachu only curled up on Ash’s lap.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you want me to get anything specifically?” Cynthia asked, grabbing the clear box of push pins on the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a nod, Cynthia left. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash crossed his legs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He tapped his fingernails against the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pursed his lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He uncrossed his legs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His hands twitched. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He crossed his legs-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu chirped, jumping on Ash’s lap. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash genuinely smiled, bending forward to grab his pen to tap Pikachu’s forehead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grumbling, Pikachu hopped onto the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While Pikachu and Meloetta chatted, Ash twirled the pen cap, glancing around. Running a finger along the edges of the pen, the smell of ink permeated their lungs. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash held the pen between his nose and lip, making funny faces at Pikachu and Meloetta, who both snickered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grabbing another pen, Ash alternated between clicking it and drumming with both pens on the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meloetta chirped, humming along. Rolling his eyes, Pikachu nodded along with the beat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a while, they all cheered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash’s cheer turned into a yelp when Cynthia put a quilt around him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His pens clattered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu and Meloetta both winced.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oops, sorry about that,” Cynthia said, spreading the items she gathered across the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, no, don’t worry about it.” Ash traced the circular pattern on the quilt, awkwardly chuckling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So…” Cynthia smiled as Meloetta floated around her. “What can I get you? Fruit platter? Corkscrew pasta? Pancakes or tarts?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Grinning, Ash shrugged. Pikachu narrowed his eyes at Ash.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...There’s also cereal? Here, I can get you the whole bag-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can pour my own cereal.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yes, of course!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Ash inched over to the kitchen, Cynthia stuck by his side. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu padded next to Ash, followed by Meloetta.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash deadpanned at his cereal as Cynthia casually shifted the peppers and cinnamon containers away, pretending to be busy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sitting on Ash’s shoulders, Pikachu and Meloetta chirped to each other. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Look, I get it,” Ash said. Cynthia winced when Ash half-joked, “But don’t worry! Arceus won’t give me a break from this responsibility after all!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia stayed silent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu could only face-paw while Meloetta hovered next to Ash.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Swirling his cereal, Ash peeked at the stove before glancing off, continuing, “I’m not going to die anytime soon. I know myself better than that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re really selfless-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t that the point?” With a weary smile and flat tone, Ash said, “Determination, bravery, kindness, inspiration, resilience. It’s part of the job. You praising me for it does nothing.” A sigh. “Sorry. I appreciate the quality time though. Truly.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia flicked her hair as Ash slurped his cereal. Pikachu only rested against Ash, tail patting his back.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Do you want to talk about Unova now?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu tilted his head, batting towards Meloetta’s direction. Meloetta soared onto Ash’s head, patting Ash’s forehead as he took a deep breath. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s no reason to worry. It’s not like I’m having a breakdown-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ash. You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>ok,” Cynthia affirmed. Ash tapped the edge of his bowl with his spoon. “...I’m sorry, I should have known you were this bad-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah why would you ever call me good?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu snuggled closer to Ash in silent support. Meloetta stared down at Ash, patting his hair as if massaging it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Ash, you deserve to be cared for. And I am going to care for you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>purposely.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Because you’re doing the best you can, and I’m proud of you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash froze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He scooped some cereal, watching it slide off his spoon into the bowl. “...I feel pathetic.” Plastering a grin over his face, Ash continued, “You know, I would have handled insults better.” Pikachu silently sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meloetta pouted, wordlessly humming while ruffling Ash’s hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ash-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you really want to listen?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia stood up straight, nodding.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash placed his bowl on the table, patting the seat next to him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ok. Adventures are supposed to be fun, no?” Ash leaned forward, propping his head up and putting his elbows on the table. “Normally, I would have fun with my travels. I only actually feel stressed about major events, like the league, or...”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia tilted her head as Pikachu pat Ash’s cheek, cooing. Meloetta flew in front of Ash, sitting on the table with a soft smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Unova’s not like that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash’s grin wavered. “Yep!” His hands trembled as he scooped Meloetta into his arms. “Now it feels like the world’s gonna end around the corner. Maybe I’m just paranoid, maybe I’m not.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Peeking at Pikachu before holding Meloetta up, Ash pondered, “Maybe that’s why I never even thought about capturing or having legendaries. I know their importance better than </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span>. So I can’t put them in danger when so many villains know who I am.” Cynthia’s eyes darkened as Ash set Meloetta down. “And… I never feel strong enough to defend them anyways.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu’s ears wilted as Ash laughed, sarcastically whispering to himself, “No thanks to me being such a kid.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Ash?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash only ate his cereal in silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s taking </span>
  <em>
    <span>so long</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia pursed her lips. “Hey Ash, are there any recurring villains you want me to look out for? I want to help-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know you do.” Ash intensely stared at his spoonful of cereal, a puddle lifted from a lake. “I… Apart from my mind, the rocket trio is pretty recurring.” Pikachu rolled his eyes, glancing off. Meloetta tilted their head, flying over to Pikachu to ask for clarification.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, they followed me since what, Viridian?” Ash dropped his spoon with how jittery his hand was. “Viridian…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu tilted his head, eyes wide. Meloetta put a hand over their mouth, eyes worried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, so about the trio…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash brushed off Cynthia’s comment, zoned out. “Viridian… They were the… Wow, I really don’t remember how many times I’ve died by now!” Ash grinned, snapping back to reality. “Oh yes, the trio!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you ok?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah!” Ash waved a hand, pushing his unfinished cereal aside. Pikachu and Meloetta both stared at it. “You know, just caught in old memories, nothing usual.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...It’s ok if you’re not-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I say that to everyone else!” Ash exclaimed. Pikachu’s ears twitched as he stared at Ash. Before Cynthia could even respond, Ash continued, “But back to the trio. Even though they were part of Team Rocket, they’re… honestly not that bad. They’re fun, you know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No…?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash awkwardly chuckled. “Ok well, they were. Now they’re just… boring. Like, </span>
  <em>
    <span>actually</span>
  </em>
  <span> Team Rocket. I dunno whether to feel anxious or exasperated.” Running a finger over his knuckles, Ash hummed thoughtfully. “I wonder what happened to them? Maybe G-” he froze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu and Meloetta both stared up at Ash.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Yes?” Cynthia asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rubbing his knuckles against each other, Ash shook his head. “Nah, don’t worry about it. You don’t need to get involved.” Pikachu nestled next to Ash, purring. “...I swear, if we have to save the world right before the league, I’m not going to do well.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia sweatdropped when Ash tapped his spoon against his bowl, making a celebratory ding. Meloetta put their hands together, dress fluttering as they zoomed around Ash.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey hey, be positive!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash grinned. “I’m positive I’m not going to do well!” Cynthia winced. Ash hugged Pikachu and Meloetta. “Yeah yeah, I know I’m supposed to be the optimistic one all the time, but… I’m just tired. I just wanted a little break. Instead, people are probably gonna hate on me for doing worse than before!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meloetta cooed, sitting on Ash’s shoulder. Pikachu hopped onto the table, silent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Then they don’t deserve you. You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>allowed</span>
  </em>
  <span> to fail. You’re allowed to… relapse, if you will. As long as you keep going! I’m sure you’ll come back stronger than before!” Cynthia ran a finger over the leaf of a heavenly bamboo plant, eyes determined. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Floating next to the plant, Meloetta chirped up at Cynthia.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I thought I was getting better,” Ash blurted, flailing his arms before flopping over onto the couch. “I thought it was </span>
  <em>
    <span>over</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Why is it getting bad </span>
  <em>
    <span>now</span>
  </em>
  <span>?! Why is it </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally </span>
  </em>
  <span>setting in, like, a </span>
  <em>
    <span>year</span>
  </em>
  <span> after it happened???”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia fiddled with a box of hair elastics on the table, watching Ash stare at the ceiling, subconsciously dragging his nails down his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Plopping onto Ash’s stomach, Meloetta cooed. Pikachu tilted his head, patting Ash’s hand with a paw.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash sighed, continuing, “Like, no one even died! Well, not really. I sorta died, but I got better. Well, sort of better, but I fly in planes just fine so it doesn’t matter. So yeah, if I don’t care about it, you shouldn’t have to. Brock still freaked out when I told him though.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Isn’t he studying to be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>doctor</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” Cynthia worriedly asked, watching Pikachu wince. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah he’s so cool!” Ash diverted, sitting up and patting Meloetta. “I… It sounds selfish, but I really miss him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s totally valid. Can we go back to you ‘sorta’ dying-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh don’t worry about it! It’s just the usual stuff!” Ash twitched as he realized his other hand was dug in his hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meloetta tilted their head, silent. Pikachu scampered onto Ash’s shoulder, patting Ash’s arm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash only glanced off. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia rolled a pen across the table, saying, “You shouldn’t have to save the world alone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I’m not alone. So why should I feel that way?” Ash asked, taking the pen and tapping it against his palm. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...You really grew up too quickly, huh?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu and Meloetta sat in front of Ash on the table as he doubled over with laughter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia jolted when Ash said through his hiccuped laughter, “More like the opposite!” After rubbing his face, Ash grinned. “You know, how your age gets reverted!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash tapped the edge of the mini sand zen garden with his pen as Pikachu and Meloetta softly chirped to each other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...I don’t… know?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash drew on his fingertips before smudging the marks. “Oh. Well, it’s like my mind can’t handle everything and shuts down when I prepare for a new journey!” He gasped, eyes sparkling. “Imagine if in the next region, I’m the exact opposite! And the </span>
  <em>
    <span>opposite </span>
  </em>
  <span>in the region afterward! Wouldn’t that be something?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu and Meloetta exchanged a glance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia paused. “Take care of yourself.” Ash drew circles in the sand zen garden, silent. “Look Ash, If I’m not around to physically support you in your next journeys, I’ll get Steven or Lance to do something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Chuckling and twirling his pen, Ash said, “Save it for emergencies please.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’ll see.” Cynthia leaned back on the couch. “So what were you saying about your age… regressing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Some people may experience it differently, but mine is involuntary. I feel and think just like the age I reverted to, and I sometimes get called childish for doing so.” Ash shrugged. “It’s why I don’t tell anyone. Everyone just thinks I’m pretending or making this up when I’m not-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I believe you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash and Pikachu both froze, eyes wide as they glanced over. Meloetta did a silent nod. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia palmed a shoal shell, tossing it up and down. “Does it help you cope?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Absentmindedly arranging pebbles in a pattern, Ash answered, “It does. Sort of. Sure, I know it’s probably fine, but I feel kinda weird afterward. I mean, especially since I thought I didn’t need to do it anymore. But nope! It’s worse!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Spinning the shell on the table, Cynthia creased her eyebrows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash only grinned. “I know I need to keep trying and give up giving up! Take steps to avoid ending up like this again! ...But it… really wears you down.” He huffed, petting Pikachu and Meloetta. “Some embodiment of willpower I am.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Both pokemon cooed, snuggling against Ash’s sides. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Can I hug you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash winced, holding Pikachu almost as a barrier between them while his hand twitched for his pen. “If that’s what you want!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meloetta chirped, flying next to Cynthia. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia smiled, tilting her head towards Ash. “Ok. You can give me the cue.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash bounced his pen and leg, finishing his cereal as silently as possible. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Squishing a stuffed Omanyte plushie with Meloetta, Cynthia watched as Ash took his pen apart and Pikachu rolled the spring inside across the table. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What are you doing?” Cynthia asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uh. I dunno?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As Ash awkwardly assembled the pen back together and held it out to Cynthia, Cynthia shook her head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash blinked as Cynthia held a spiral notebook out to him instead. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s… blank.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash stared at the galaxy cover. He stared up at Cynthia. He set the notebook down with his pen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He stifled a laugh as Meloetta zipped over to look at it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu snatched the notebook in his mouth, bouncing up and down. Meloetta snickered, twirling around Pikachu. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I won’t say it’s easy to recover,” Cynthia said with a smile all too familiar to Ash. “In fact, I say it’s the opposite. Healing isn’t a linear process after all, so be gentle with yourself. Especially with… the world, and all.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Huffing, Ash twirled a rock on the table, a mandala painted onto it. The colors blurred together for a moment, and Ash tucked his arms from view. “You don’t have to say that.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu nudged at Ash. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash rolled his eyes, nodding at Pikachu. Pikachu beamed, dropping the notebook and curling next to Ash. Meloetta pouted, following suit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But I’m serious. Because of how difficult this journey is, you’re really strong for making it here, for dealing with all of this. Please don’t beat yourself up-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I feel like I’m going in circles.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t mean you are.” Cynthia smiled. “Still valid though.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash stayed silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia rolled her wrist, saying, “You’re definitely not going in circles. Think of it as climbing a spiral staircase. Even with the smallest amounts of steps, you’re making more progress. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Even if </span>
  </em>
  <span>it doesn’t seem that way. You might slip, but it doesn’t erase the progress you’ve already made. Look, it won’t get easier, but you’ll get stronger!” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash stayed silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’ve come so far and done so much already, and it’s really ok to be struggling. I’m proud of you! For telling me this, for trying your best! And that’s a remarkable thing! As long as you keep pushing forward, you’re doing good.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash stayed silent. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia met Ash’s eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>the exception to recovery.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ash sighed, shrugging. “I guess.” Wringing his hands, Ash murmured, “I really do appreciate it. Thanks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu nodded to Meloetta as they both pounced onto Ash.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia got up, asking, “Do you have the energy to go down to the beach?” Ash still winced. “That’s alright! You can visit a beach island sometimes in the future! How about we make pancakes for everyone instead?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Scooping Pikachu and Meloetta into his arms, Ash nodded, eyes sparkling. “What kind do you have in mind?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...Good question!” Cynthia fiddled with her shell before putting her hands together. “What would we all like? Chocolate? Syrup? Fruit? Cream?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Pikachu hopped back onto the table, drooling.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I can make the whipped cream!” Ash waved his free hand, chuckling when Meloetta floated up and down besides them. Flushing in embarrassment, Ash raised a hand. “But uh, can I… get a hug first?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cynthia tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, answering Ash by spinning him around and hugging him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both laughed, heading towards the kitchen while Pikachu and Meloetta bounded after them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The pinwheel leaves of a plant unfurled like a batter when mixed. Sunrays glistened on the ocean surface, a symphony of petals burning like fire that dissipated the shadows. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Inspired by InfamousPlayer!<br/>*Casual mention of cochlea here* If you know you know. </p><p>How's everyone doing? I hope well, if not alright!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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